


The Truth about Steve and Bucky

by EvilSlicey



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Emotional Baggage, M/M, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Relationship, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 10:05:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18714835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvilSlicey/pseuds/EvilSlicey
Summary: When Steve easedrops on a trouble veteren's story he realizes something about himself and his relationship with Bucky Barnes





	The Truth about Steve and Bucky

**Author's Note:**

> Ok first I know I have Works in process to update.  
> Unfortantly all the work I had done for a month just disappeared from my computer.  
> No idea how.  
> It was a huge blow.  
> So i wrote a one shot in a different fandom.  
> Enjoy!

“Thanks for the help Steve.” Sam Wilson called as he dug out more chairs from the closet in the VFW they where in. Steve Rogers chuckled as he fixed the leg of the folding table he was trying to set up with a coffee carafe and the cookies Sam had brought with him. Once was sure it wasn’t going to list to the side again, he spread the paper table cloth over the top and set out the food and drink with the needed plates and cups.

“I’ve told you Sam, I’m always happy to help with your therapy sessions.” Steve reminded the other man once he returned lugging several folding chairs that Steve immediately took from him and began setting up in a circle. Sam stepped back to watch the super soldier fussed over the set up of the chairs and shook his head as Steve fixed the angle of a chair before moving to the next one.

“I know, and the guys always appreciate having Captain America sitting in on these sessions. I also know you aren’t always comfortable talking about your experience in war when it is so different from men who have experienced more modern warfare.” Sam went to his briefcase and pulled out some paperwork, placing three piles of flyers on the table closest to the door, making information about services easily available to the men who need it most.

“Well its not like I plan on talking the whole time, or at all.” Steve smiled as he fixed the last chair and went to see if Sam needed help with any of his flyers. He was happy to help his friend set up for the session and helping other soldiers struggling after war was something he felt duty bound to do.

Even if he still struggled with the same things himself.

Sam simply patted Steve’s arm before he moved to the hallway to hand up some signs to direct and reassure the attendants as well as add of few of his flyers to the bulletin boards. Steve could only sigh and take one of the seats and wait for the other veterans to show up. He considered fishing out the cellphone Tony had insisted he take and checking out the games Happy had put on there with rave reviews, but he wasn’t very comfortable with the modern technology and didn’t see the point at poking at digital candy on a screen the size of a good notepad.

Steve instead stretched out, leaned his head back and closed his eyes, letting the eerie quiet, cut in occasionally by distant music from the VFW bar on the other side of the building, wash over him. His life was rarely quiet, and he couldn’t pass up a moment to enjoy it.

It was the slight change in sound that caused him to bolt upright and look around at the room for the change. He blinked when he saw a scruffy looking man standing in the doorway looking confused and uncomfortable. Steve took in the man’s nervous rubbing of his hands on his jeans and shifting his weight from foot to foot and stood up to greet him.

“Hi, are you here the “Reintegration” session?” He asked cautiously as he observed the man, who kept twitching and shifting his weight back and forth like he was about to run. He noticed that the man’s eyes where red and puffy and that he was otherwise clean and groomed beyond a bit of a 5 o’clock shadow. He couldn’t help but wonder what was happening to the man that brought him there early.

“No, I mean, yes but… I was hoping to talk to Sam I mean… Lieutenant Wilson uh…” The man stopped and rubbed both of his hands over his face and took several deep breaths. He stood like that for a minute or so before he pulled his body up at attention, the soldier coming through as the man straighten up, his distress still evident by the fact his eyes looked through Steve instead of at him. Steve felt his stomach drop to his feet as he watched the man. “You know what, never mind.”

Steve threw his hand out like he wanted to grab or stop the man and feeling bad when he saw him flinch at the movement but stopped making any moves to leave, staring instead at Steve like he was going to attack him.

“Hey, why don’t you sit down? Sam should be back in a minute or so and we have some coffee and cookies.” Steve tried to keep his voice pleasant and calm, not really know what to do in the situation presented to him. The man blinked and finally seemed to look at Steve and see him for the first time.

“I don’t… wait… are you…” The man examined Steve and then stiffened again, this time looking scared and starting to take a few steps backwards. “Shit, I’m sorry man. I should… I should go.”

“Liam?” Sam’s voice and sudden appearance in the doorway made the man let out a little whimper and wrap his arms around himself as he turned around slowly to look at him. Steve saw the man, Liam apparently, twist his face in an attempt to smile, the distress still painted over his face while relief flooded his eyes.

“Hey Sam.” Liam weakly greeted as he started his uncomfortable shift of his weight on his feet looking like he was ready to run from the room but his desire to stay winning for the moment. Sam moved forward and cautiously laid his hand on the man’s arm and frowning when he flinched at the touch.

“Hey man its ok. I wasn’t expecting to see you until my meeting on Friday. What’s up?” Sam asked with a bit of fake joviality in his voice as his eyes traveled over the man’s form with concern.

“I’m sorry Sam, I am just… it has been a bad day you know and I- I was…” The man stopped and gulped, a small tremor rolling through his body like he was about to break down and cry and needed ever ounce of his control not to.

“Liam, its fine. Take a seat and we will talk, alright, and see if it’s something we can work on together.” Sam started directing him towards one of the chairs in the circle, Liam allowing himself to be move without resistance. The man slumped into the chair Sam lead him to and hung his head with a sniff.

“Can… can we have privacy?” He asked softly as Sam moved to the treat table and filled two of the weak paper cups with coffee. Sam glanced at Steve who nodded swiftly, feeling relieved that Sam had it under control.

“I just remembered I should give Tony call anyways.” Steve announced as inched away, waiting for Sam’s approval. Sam smiled and moved back to the distraught man with the drinks. Steve left the room as quickly as he could without seeming like he was running, closing the door behind him and slumping against the wall next to it. He drew one of his knees to his chest and took a few deep breaths as he laid his head against the wall.

Steve hated himself for a bit.

He could run into live fire, punch a Nazi in the face, pull a one man rescue mission behind enemy lines and jump out of a plane without a parachute, but seeing a soldier in emotional distress was something he wasn’t sure he could really handle. He considered going to get a drink or actually calling Tony when he heard the pair still in the room behind him start talking.

“I’m sorry Sam.”

“Liam, tell me what’s going on.”

“I’m not sure… Maybe I shouldn’t be here.”

“Liam, please. You know me, I will do anything in my power to help you, but you need to speak with me first.”

Steve almost got up to rejoin the room when there was a long pause until he heard the faint sound of sobbing from the man Sam was comforting.  He closed his eyes and rested his face in his hands, feeling at a lost in the situation.

“I’m sorry, it’s been a really hard day.” The words were riddled with the shadow of his tears and his next few settling breaths were audible, rattling with moisture. There was a long pause before the man started talking again. “I was doing well, really I was. Work is good, I’ve made some friends, I’ve been taking the meds, keeping my appointments and doing the group sessions, all that. I almost forgot about… today is the anniversary Sam, and I almost forgot.”

“But you didn’t forget. You remembered right.”

“I remembered and I just… spiraled. I had the day off already and I just felt disjointed. Everything felt wrong and I felt- no feel- like the world is crashing around me. I wanted to go to the cemetery but…”

“What happened Liam?” Steve could hear the scrape of Sam’s chair and knew he most have moved closer to the man.

“Conner’s sister called me this morning while I was… well looking back at it now I was clearly having a bit of a break down over forgetting the date. I was panicking through my routine, despite to get dress and out the door as fast as possible feeling like I was late. Then she…”

“She what Liam.” Sam sounded patient and Steve could practically see him comforting the man.

“She told me not to come. She said her parent’s, Conner’s family, didn’t want me there.” The man’s voice was weak and distance as he talked to Sam and Steve felt pain in his chest at the thought. He was slowly getting the idea of the trauma this man was going through, and he had the desire to punch something.

“That’s not the first time they have done that though, you’ve told me about a lot of times his family has been less than interested in having you around.” Sam broke Steve’s angry thoughts with his calm words. The thought of this man dealing with so much rejection just made it worse for him.

“No, the only person in his family who accepts me continues to be his little brother, Brain. He’s a good kid, I heard he’s about to graduate with his bachelors.” The man let out a broken chuckle that was capped with a sob.

“So, what was different this time Liam, what brought you here?” Sam asked patiently, obviously trying to redirect the man to the conversation. This time the pause was so long that Steve thought he might have realized he was still near the doorway and about to come ask him to move on. When the silence broke Steve almost started crying.

“Because this time, this time I felt it again. That… that desire to join him, to join Conner…  That feeling that lead me to being reckless in the field. That feeling that made me want to drink or jump in front traffic. And I was scared.”

There was a pause, Steve rigid with shock, Sam quiet and the other man crying quietly. Steve had only ever heard one person ever admit they had wanted to die, and hearing someone saying that after talking about the death of a love was hitting home. S

“Do you think you would have?” Sam broke the silence and making Steve turn towards the door again to listen.

“No, not like… not like before. Not like taking high risk assignments or putting myself in the line of fire. I took my pills and left my home. Got away from my gun. Went to the park that had a war memorial. When I realized I was spiraling I knew I should talk to you.”

“Do you think you need to be admitted?”

“Maybe. I don’t know. I just… Know I shouldn’t be alone.” There was a rattling intake of breath that ended with a sob. “I just know I need to talk.”

“Ok, lets talk. What do you want to talk about?”

“… Conner.”

“Ok I can talk about Conner. What do you want to talk about regarding Conner?”

“I don’t know… No, I do. I want to talk about his death. I need to share what I’ve gone through.”

“Alright, tell me about the day Conner died.”

There was a pause again and, again, Steve wondered if he should leave. He was just too into the man’s story to move.

“It was a routine sweep, clearing buildings of insurgents before the rest of the army came through. There had been some heavy fighting in the days leading up but most of the enemy forces had pulled out the week before. EOD was leading the way and disarming IEDs and booby traps they had left behind. It was almost boring you know? Just us sweeping through these mostly empty buildings and looking for stragglers and the like.”

Steve was surprised when the man was cut off by the scrape of a chair. It became clear after a second that the man had stood up and was now walking around the room.

“There were a few civilians around, people trying to reclaim their homes, their lives. We kept having to drag them in to the road to search the buildings, taking turns to guard them and searching.  Conner and I hated that you know? Watching these… Old people, moms, their kids. None of them were over 14. They took all those able to fight.”

This time the pause made sense; Steve heard a slam against a wall. A fist? A chair? It didn’t matter.

“Liam?”

“The building was… dark, crowded actually. A store house or something. No one lived there that was sure. The building was practically crumbling to the ground, we joked the whole time about it falling around us. It was easy, you know? The dogs where ahead of us and we checked all the places they indicated, and it seemed OK.” This time Steve was surprised before the man’s voice was so close. The man most have moved to and was leaning against the door.

“What went wrong then?” Sam was still calm, and Steve wondered how Sam was able to handle this kind of stuff all the time.  He was a stronger man than Steve gave him credit for.

“It was a soldier. No. No, it was a kid. A kid the soldiers had taken from his home and sent to army camp. A kid who was forced to take a gun and wanted nothing to do with it. When the army had pulled out, he thought he could hide until we were done and try and make his way home. He didn’t know about the dogs. Conner had gone forward to check his hiding spot and the kid panicked. He jumped out and he…” There was another loud sob, this time so close that Steve felt it in his soul, his stomach dropping out at the pain in his voice. “The kid had a knife, this ugly banged up nasty kitchen knife he probably stole from one of the houses in the village. He jumped out from his hiding place and stuck it into Conner’s neck. We didn’t have time to react. One second Conner was bending over with his gun pointed in to the hole the kid was hiding in. The next this kid had stuck a god damn rust piece of trash through a gap in Conner’s body armor. I don’t know who opened fire, I was too focused on Conner. The kid was killed. Conner bleed out quickly. The kid got his jugular there was no chance for a medic to get to him. He died in my arms.”

There was a pause again, the silence strangling all the sound in the building, Steve unable to hear even the music he could hear earlier. He wondered if time had stopped to let the man tell his story.

“Liam. What happened next?”

“The medic took Conner. Checked me out but I wasn’t hurt. The kid was dragged out and the locals questioned. I just went back to our camp. Found Conner’s kit, and pulled out this book the idiot always carried with him. I can’t even remember the name now, its like my mind won’t let me. There was this picture in the book. He had hidden it there. It was a picture of us, the last night we had before we were deployed. We were in this bar and kissing. I told him it was dangerous to keep it, but he wanted to remember that night. We were together since basic and he wanted one piece of proof that we were more than just friends. I have that picture framed now and I wish I could have told him every day we together and all I have is one picture of us kissing.”

“It’s hard being gay in the military, Liam. None of the LGBT soldiers I’ve talk to have had an easy tie of it. Losing the person you love in action must be worse.”

“No, what is worse is how much I miss the little things. I miss his laugh, how he put ketchup on everything, his protectiveness, how he was dumb-ass who had to show off. I miss… I miss the man who hide how quiet and calm he could be, how he listened and cared about others, who kissed me for the first time with so much nervousness that I’m surprised he didn’t book it. He was my best friend, and then he was just gone.”

“And you didn’t deal well.” Sam concluded for him and Steve could hear him moving too, figuring he was moving to be closer to the man.

“I thought I did. I had a few days on leave afterwards, and I thought I mourned before I got back. I didn’t notice how…”

“Self-destructive?”

“Yeah, I didn’t notice how self-destructive I was until the roadside ambush. I should have died in that fire fight. I wanted to die. I got lucky to only wind up with my collar bone shattered and bleeding on the road, medical discharge as my shoulder was too damaged to hold a M-16 anymore and needing years of physical therapy to get to where I am. I never got to have the pain of a dishonorable discharge because of my sexuality but I never got to have my relationship with Conner acknowledged too. And his family rejects me.”

Steve toned out what Sam said in reply, his mind rolling the information around in his head. He felt bad for the man, he knew how much it hurt him to come out of the ice and find Peggy slowly dying and losing her past. He also knew how much it hurt to lose someone so close to him, the memory of seeing Bucky fall into the cavern fresh in his mind like it happened just the other day.

‘At least he had a photo of their kiss to hold on to, I don’t even have that.’ He thought distantly before his blood froze when the thought became clearer.

He was jealous that Liam had a picture of a kiss, and he knew he wasn’t wishing he had a photo of him and Bucky, as prints of those were easy enough to find, he was wishing he had a picture or a memory of a kiss. That was something he had never realized he wanted before.

Steve stood up and walked out of the building, heading back to the Avenger’s compound to think. He didn’t even stop to wonder if should tell Sam he was leaving.

Steve didn’t notice if he passed anyone else on his way back to the place he called home, just grabbed a case of beer from the kitchen and made it up to the roof, intent to think and process.

Sam found him there several hours later with, half way through his case of beer with the cans stack around him in little monuments.

“Hey Steve?” Sam seemed confused and worried as he took in the sight of Steve in his spot surrounded by cans.

“Hey Sam! Sorry I missed group.” Steve tried to smile at Sam but failed, opting to take another swig of his drink instead.

“That’s fine man, uh… you wanna tell what’s going on here?” Sam inched forward, edging around the cans like he was worried they were going to explode.

“Thinking and wishing I could get drunk. You want a beer?” Steve offered an unopened can to Sam.

“Uh, I’m good, thanks? What are we thinking about if I can ask?” Sam sat down besides Steve and pushed an empty can away.

“Well, it started thinking about that guy who came to your group session early.”

“Liam? I got him admitted to the VA don’t worry he is fine.”

“Yeah well, I was thinking about how he talked about Conner, yes, I was listening, and I just started thinking about Brooklyn. Well not just Brooklyn but growing up with Bucky in Brooklyn.”

“Ok… I’m not sure I follow man.” Sam looked nervous and Steve just chuckled and gave Sam a reassuring pat.

“You know, me and Bucky, we were friends since ever. Basically, friends in the womb, our moms friends after they immigrated together. I was sick my whole childhood, my mother using all her energy to keep me healthy. I didn’t even sleep alone because she was worried about me getting too cold at night. When Bucky and I were ten I convinced her to let me have him spend the night. She panicked the whole day about me sleeping alone, and then Bucky asked why and I told him. That night Bucky climbed into my bed and held me so I could be warm all night. We did that every night until he shipped out.”

“And? I’m sorry how does this relate to Liam?”

“Sam, I have come to the conclusion that I am in love with Bucky and have been since we were young children.”

The was a long pause, Sam looking at Steve with wide eyed confusion and surprise and Steve casually opening another can and draining half its contents.

“You… Love… Bucky? Bucky Barnes? Sargent James Buchanan Barnes, the Howling Commando turned Winter Soldier?” Sam said slowly, shaking his head a few times and rubbing his temples.

“One and the same.”

“And Peggy Carter?”

“I love her too, as much as I love Bucky.”

“That… That must be really confusing for you.”

“You have no idea; I was just barely getting use to the fact its no longer a crime to be a homosexual and now I am one. Wait, no, I like women too… what’s that term… Bisexual? I’m bisexual.”

There was another pause, this time Sam taking one of the now lukewarm beers and moving to sit side by side with Steve. The pair drank for a bit, staring off in to the distance and listening to the sounds of nature around them.

“So, what are you going to do now?” Sam finally asked when the quiet started to become repressive.

“Now? Now I’m still going to try and find Bucky, bring him back and help him anyway I can. Then I am going to be awkward around him forever. Maybe I’ll look into getting a book, or porn, or something about being gay, bi, whatever, add it to the list. If possible, get some of Thor’s ale because this beer sucks.”

“You know, you could go on a date or something? Or Bucky might surprise you.”

The caused Steve to laugh and shake his head.

“Sam, I’m almost 100 years old. I’ve fought in war, fought aliens and robots, I helped topple a corrupt multi-governmental agency. I’ve lost my best friend and first love once and may never see him again and my second love is laying in a bed somewhere losing her past and her life slowly. Do you think I could really find someone I could share any of that with some 30-year-old hipster I meet in a coffee shop?”

“Probably not? But what about Bucky?”

“Bucky is Bucky, if I find him, I might tell him about my feelings or I might just be happy with him back in my life.”

“Man Steve.” Sam sighed and leaned back to stare at the sky. “This is all pretty messed up and just… really, really messed up.”

“I would have to say the describes my life Sam, really, really messed up.” Steve chuckled and took last gulp of the beer in his hand. “But I make it work.”

“I’ll help. You know, there is a group session once a week at the VFW for LGBT soldiers, if you ever want to talk to someone who knows what it’s like.”

Steve threw his head back and laughed loudly to the sky.

“Sam, again, I am an almost 100-year-old super soldier capable of punching an alien in the face in love with an also almost 100-year-old woman who struggles to remember if her husband is alive or not and an assassin/super-soldier who has tortured and brainwashed for the last 70 years but also use to help me climb over the fence behind this restaurant that was run by an anti-Irish jack ass who would disrespect my mother so we could steal crates of vegetables form his kitchen. I can really see me finding a group of people who will understand all those life experiences.”

“Talking might help no matter what, but I won’t force you to talk to anyone but me. But, please, don’t think you need to hide who you are and you can’t tell others. You’ll find that more people will understand and accept you.”

“Thank you, Sam.” Steve patted Sam on his shoulder and stood up to start collect the empty cans he had accumulated over the last few hours. “I’ll remember that.”

Sam stood up and gave Steve a half-armed hug and helped him gather up all the remaining items around them. The pair started walking to the roof access point with their arms full but fully quiet, letting the sound of nature speak for itself.

“So… Bucky huh? You like them tall dark and scary I see.” Sam broke the silence as he opened the door and held it for Steve.

“Shut up.” Steve chuckled.

“No, no I get it. One arm, brain washed, cranky. Totally hot.”

“I disown you and declare Wanda my new non-1940s best friend.”

“I’ll be happy to let Ms. Maximoff know about the change in the relationship status between the two of you Mr. Rogers.” The station’s A.I. cheerily offered as Sam started laughing signaling that the pair had fully entered the main areas of the base.

“Do that! I want to see if Wanda is a braider and gossip girl or if she is the type to punch you in the gut and toughen up!” Sam crowed when Steve started to blush.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. ignore him, he’s a child. Is everyone in for the night?”

“Yes. Mr. Rogers, would you like me to see if there is any food left from dinner?”

“No, I’m going to leave Sam here to clean up this mess and run and grab a burger or something.”

“Very good Mr. Rogers. Good night.” The air went quiet and Steve got the sense that the A.I. was amused.

“Wait, what mess?” Sam asked when he realized what Steve had told the A.I. and looked at him with suspension. Steve smiled and opened his arms, letting the empty cans fall to the ground and roll away leaving trails of beer from the remnants that had been left behind and making an awful noise.

“This mess, see later buddy!” Steve declare before he turned tail and started jogging towards the main entrance.

“Hey! What the hell!” Sam called in shock looking at the mess.

“Call it revenge. Don’t worry, I’ll bring you back a burger and fries!” Steve called as he made it to the door and barreled out with a laugh.

“YOU BETTER YOU JERK!” Sam called as he reluctantly went to drop off his bundle and get cleaning supplies for the rest.

~~

*Six Months later, Wakanda Royal Palace*

Steve watched the sun set in the distance as Bucky talked to doctors and scientist not far behind him. He drowned out everything but the sound of their voices as the reds, oranges and yellows washed over the landscape in front of him. He let himself think only about the safety he had found for him and Bucky and the pain that had led to them needing it. He hoped that Tony was alright and could one day forgive him.

He couldn’t give up on Bucky.

“What you are thinking about Punk?” Bucky’s voice came from his left and snapped Steve from his thoughts as he turned to the man and gave him a halfhearted smile.

“Hey Bucky, you done with your consultation?” Steve asked, begging his heart to slow down as his eyes drifted to Bucky’s, it racing at the sight of the familiar blue.

“That little girl is smarter than Howard could ever have hoped to be. We have an idea of how to proceed. Seriously though, what’s is on your mind, you look lost.” Bucky tried to smile but the coldness on his face belying his haunted past.

Steve sighed and leaned against the rail around the balcony. He looked around, seeing T’Challa and his guard down below, appearing to be lost in conversation and separated from the other citizens Wakanda while Natasha worked on something on her wrist display a few feet away. Momentarily he wondered if he could make an excuse to go join T’Challa or Natasha, but he knew he would want to hate himself for abandoning Bucky even if just in the abstract.

“I’m thinking about Tony.” Steve was half honest but hoped it would be enough. Bucky snorted and leaned against the railing next to him.

“Liar.” He said softly making Steve start with surprise. “Not that I don’t think he is on your mind, but I know you. You’re thinking about something else too.”

Steve sighed and turned around, looking into the palace and noticing they were left alone by the professionals who had been talking to Bucky earlier. Steve wondered how long they had been gone.

“It’s nothing important. Bucky please don’t worry about me.”

“Steve, it’s my job to worry about you as you can’t do it. Now spill before I got get the King and Natasha.” Bucky sternly demanded making Steve smile at the concern in his voice. He continued to look off into the distance for a few minutes quietly before he sighed again and rubbed his hand over his face.

He figured it was better to put his cards on the table and get it over with. It would hurt less if he didn’t let him fester.

“It’s nothing… big… you know. Just… thinking about us.”

“Us?” Bucky asked softly, his hand coming to rest on Steve’s shoulder almost shyly.

“I was supposed to help Sam with a group session, he counsels veterans dealing with PTSD or struggling to reintegrate into society in some way or another. Before the session started though this ex-soldier in crisis showed up. He and Sam started talking while I listened in the hallway, and some of the things he talked about I couldn’t help relating to some of the things he talked about. Its just on my mind that’s all.” Steve explained vaguely, giving a last-ditch hope that Bucky would let the subject drop.

“What was it you related to?” Bucky asked, sounding a bit confused.

Steve sighed and turned to face his life long best friend, ready to bite the bullet. He hoped Bucky was in a punchy mood, he really was tired of fighting.

“He was talking about a soldier he lost in the field, and all the little things he missed about him.”

“So, you thought about all the little things you missed about me?”

“That and all the things he got to experience with him that I never got a chance to.” Steve blushed and crossed his arms, letting his eyes drop to the floor in an effort to hide his embarrassment.

“Steve? What’s wrong?” Bucky moved closer to Steve, his hand holding on to Steve’s upper arm and leaning in close to make Steve look at him.

“The soldier had been his lover Bucky, and I was… jealous he got to have memories with him I couldn’t have with you.” Steve whispered, his heart pounding with fear and his palms beginning to sweat.

“Oh.” Bucky pulled back a little bit in surprise but didn’t move out of Steve’s personal space or move his hand.

“Yeah. Oh.” Steve blushed deeper and wondered if he pulled away if Bucky would let him or stop him. He also wondered which he wanted.

“So, you…”

“Have romantic feelings for you and am attracted to you.” Steve confirmed, feeling more awkward and ready to dive off the balcony to escape the conversation.

“Then if I kissed you, you wouldn’t sock me?”

“Of course, I wouldn’t- Wait what?” Steve looked up at Bucky in surprise blinking at him in confusion. Before he could process exactly what Bucky had asked the other man leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips.

Steve stiffened in surprise at the feeling before relaxing and kissing back. He unwrapped his arms and threaded his hands into Bucky’s longer hair determined to enjoy the kiss for all its worth in case it was a dream. He felt Bucky’s arm slip around his shoulders and hold on to him tight.

Steve was unsure how long they kissed, only that eventually they had to pull apart for air both of them rumbled and gasping for breath against one another. Steve stared into the eyes of the man he loved, who he was holding in his hands against a railing he hadn’t realized he had maneuvered him against, lips swollen from their shared kiss, smiling a bit dopily at the sight. He just had one thing he had to ask to make the moment perfect.

“So, does this mean you have feeling for me too?” He gasped, leaning in to plant a brief, soft kiss on the other man’s lips before he could respond.

“We are practically necking, and you have to ask? God Steve, I always knew I had the brains in this relationship, but could you try a bit harder?”

“Just had to make sure before I kissed you again. Wouldn’t want to start a fight or anything.” Steve quipped before he claimed Bucky’s lips again for another passionate kiss.

“Stop worrying Punk.” Bucky broke away to complain before kissing Steve again and pulling him close.

Steve felt the last bits of the dying sun on his skin radiate warmth through him, the warmth of his heart joining it as he finally felt a brief moment of relief and rightness in the world.

Bucky was alive and, more importantly, his and whatever happened next, whatever they had to face in the future, for right now that was enough.


End file.
